"I could be a vegetarian...."

... if not for things like bacon lardons, with their crispy outsides and chewy insides, and the sumptuous oil that releases into the cooking vessel as each lardon hunkers down on itself, concentrates, and becomes more than what it is. And a beef burger - sirloin, 85/15 at least, cooked medium, seasoned with salt to enhance an almost tangy grass-fed funk, served on a toasted brioche bun, and how, if it's worth anything, it anoints itself, and your chin, and your elbows, with its own juices upon first bite; it is perfect communion itself, the quintessential Last Supper, bread and blood. And duck breast, also medium, scored skin seared and crispy, glazed in sticky-sweet, earthy port reduction. And pulled pork - low- and slow-roasted, never given the chance to contract on itself, relaxed and sensual and melt-in-your-mouth. And beef bourguignon, and spicy tuna, and and cold, picnic-basket fried chicken with a better wine than you'd think it deserves.

Yep, I could be a holy vegetarian, if only the dangerously dark, earthy wiles of The Flesh weren't so delicious.

I love veggies, though. They're versatile. I love meat in its whole, clean forms; I love vegetables in any way in which I can manipulate them.

And I hate throwing away food. And I hate boring things. SO.

I can't remember if I've shared this before, but if I have, it's worth sharing again. It's a great multi-purpose thing for using up all those half-dead veggies rolling around in the bottom drawer of your fridge. And it's ridiculously easy. And it's delicious, no matter what you use it for.

Roasted Vegetable Coulis

1 medium eggplant (unpeeled, unless you feel like it)
1/2 head garlic, separated and peeled
1/2 onion
Anything else you want - tomatoes, zucchini/squash, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, leeks, bell pepper - anything that isn't starchy (no potatoes; carrots, parsnips, and the like don't really work here either)
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Cut 'em all up in chunks, toss with oil, salt, and peper, and roast at 425 until soft and caramelized, about 25-35 minutes. Cool briefly, then scrape into food processor. Pulse or process until you're happy with the texture; depending on what I use it for, my preferred texture ranges from chunky to very smooth.


From here, you could use it in a bunch of different ways:

- Serve chunky and warm, as a dip with crusty bread, pita, or tortilla chips (it is deceptively flavorful as-is, with no add-ins)

- Add a few glugs of red wine vinegar, some fresh basil, and a good handful of toasted walnuts (pine nuts are delicious here, but don't nobody got cash for that); process until smooth, add some pasta water, and toss with hot pasta for a rich vegan pasta (garnish with more basil and toasted nuts, if desired).

- Or process until mostly smooth, like this:

.. and use as a "sauce" for pizza, with mozzarella and freshly-grated parm. Just top an unevenly-rolled-out-because-you-don't-give-a-crap-and-besides-those-thin-parts-get-deliciously-crisp crust with some coulis, cheese it, and bake at 500 degrees for 8-10 minutes, or until done.

It's not The Wiles of The Flesh, but it's pretty darn sexy anyway. Lots of roasted red pepper. Can't nobody argue with that.