I apologize for doing this to you, but there's bacon in this cake here.

So, if you want to know anything about me, these are the things you should know:

1. I am completely obsessed with streusel. I would make sweet jungle love to streusel, even on a Sunday, and have little streusel babies, and then eat them, like a hamster does with her babies. I'm aware of how disturbing that reads, but really, if you knew me, you'd love me anyway.

2. Bacon.

3. Baking.

4. Cinnamon.

5. This cake.

A New York-style crumb cake is a cake in which the crumb-to-cake ratio is pretty much equal, which means that the cake is  really just a vehicle for streusel, which is all anybody cares about, anyway. If they're worth anything.

A bacon-obsessed friend of mine is moving out-of-state to chase good opportunities. And the best thing to do, when you're having to say a sad goodbye to a bacon-obsessed friend who is moving out-of-state to chase good opportunities - the best thing to do is make her a New York-style crumb cake, with bacon streusel. Even if you have to make it dairy-free (alternate directions follow for dairy-free procedure). And I'm totally sitting here eating a piece of her cake, and I don't even care.

And I have too much going on today, and this is a very disjointed blog entry, and the streusel candies the bacon a little, so it's like biting into tiny, crisp chunks of bacon coated in a very thin layer of smoky-salty caramel, and omg now there's streusel in my keyboard okay bye.

New York-Style Crumb Cake with Bacon Streusel
(adapted from Cook's Illustrated, May 2007)
(I think this would be FANTASTIC with some pecans in it, too. Eff why eye.)

6 oz. thick-sliced bacon, cut into lardons (wee chunks)

STREUSEL (yes, these measurements are correct):
2/3 cup EACH granulated sugar and dark brown sugar
1.5 tsp. ground cinnamon
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
8 oz (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted

CAKE
2 1/2 cups cake flour (or 2 cups all-purpose and 1/2 cup cornstarch)
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. baking soda
10 oz. butter
2 eggs
2 yolks
1.5 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 cup buttermilk

DIRECTIONS:

Grease a 9x13 baking pan; set aside. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

1. Place the bacon in a cold skillet, then bring up the heat slowly. Over moderate heat, cook the bacon, stirring occasionally, until it becomes browned and crispy and has released all of its fat. RESERVE THE FAT (don't pitch it). Drain the bacon on paper towels to cool slightly.

2. Combine all of the streusel ingredients. Work in the bacon (not the bacon fat). Set aside to cool while you make the cake.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the flour (or flour/starch), sugar, and baking soda; mix until combined. Add the butter a little at a time, along with the cooled bacon fat (should be about 2 ounces of fat), and mix until the butter is fully incorporated. Add the eggs, yolks, vanilla, and butter milk, and beat until fluffy, about 1 minute.

4. Pour batter into baking pan; smooth the top. Grab some streusel in your fist to compact it, then break it into large chunks over the batter, covering it evenly (you want crumbs about the size of large peas; bigger is okay, but try not to go much smaller).

5. Bake 35-45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Serve warm or at room-temp, dusted with confectioner's sugar, if desired.

**DAIRY-FREE TWEAKS: I used Earth Balance for the butter, and soy milk + lemon juice for the buttermilk. Increase your oven temp to 350, and bake for 45 minutes.